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Your Healthy Mind

Think you’re headed towards a holiday relationship breakup? Here’s what to do

Posted by Priya Sholanki, MSW, RSW on Sep 28, 2018 1:36:01 PM

A young couple outside in the woods look past each other.

The Turkey Dump. Spring break break-ups. Holidays can add a layer of stress to relationships while you’re away from your significant other attending school. So, what can you do to help your relationship, and most importantly, help yourself?

How to keep the relationship successful

If you’ve gone away from your significant other for an extended period of time, the most important thing you can do to keep romance alive is continuing to communicate with each other openly and honestly, similarly as you would if you were in the same space.

If you’re feeling nervous about the relationship and the distance, remind yourself why you are with that person. Get in touch with your positive feelings about them, and don’t let your current emotions get the best of you.

When you’re feeling nervous, it’s natural to want to avoid what makes you nervous. Be conscious not to do that and keep the lines of communication open. Ghosting them may make you feel better in the moment, but it isn’t a healthy way to deal with your feelings over time.

Time to talk

If you’re having doubts about the relationship, you might be wondering if texting in the moment is the best way to discuss your feelings, or waiting until you go home at the holidays to see them in person.

Truth is, there’s no best way to do it, it depends how you are comfortable, and whether you think you can communicate clearly. Some people like the ability to edit before the send a text; others prefer to be able to hear the person’s voice, or read their body language.

Be mindful too of what your partner would prefer.

Think you’re about to get dumped? How to prepare

If you feel like you’ve read the signs and you’re about to get dumped, it’s time to get serious about self-care. In many situations, one of the best things you can do is take care of your basic needs: get enough sleep, exercise, try to eat healthy food.

Ask yourself what you want. Is this relationship giving you what you need right now? Maybe you won’t be so upset if it happens. Be clear about where you stand going into a breakup.

If you plan your response ahead of time, you may be able to avoid feeling lost if a breakup happens. See past it and what you will do next.

Breaking up with your partner? How to be considerate

Be considerate of the other person and their feelings. Would they prefer a breakup in-person? It’s something to consider. If you’ve been apart and it’s not working, it’s typically best to be honest as soon as possible.

Even if you’re the one initiating breakup, be prepared to feel some moments of loneliness or sadness afterward; focus on why you made the decision and see past your feelings right now.

 

While everyone experiences a breakup differently, breakups in late-fall and in springtime are more common than other parts of the year. Having a relationship end is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Honesty and openness with your partner and being in touch with what you want are most important. Know what you want before you find yourself in that discussion.


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Topics: post-secondary education, Stress

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